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Solutions to build a black community

Solutions to build a Black Community!


African Spirituality

“African spirituality” emerging as a new pseudo denomination ultimately an extension of Eurocentric exoticifcation of Africa. We see the loose generalization...

Africa’s History did not start with Slavery

It takes more than a horrifying transatlantic voyage chained in the filthy hold of a slave ship to erase someone’s culture–Maya Angelou


Revolution of Consciousness

Spiritual Connection: Know Thyself!


When he says he is no longer in love with you any more

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  • When he says he is no longer in love with you any more

    I have heard this often: I him/her but I am not in with him/her anymore! I have pondered on what this actually means and what the one saying it is trying to communicate. As you would agree, there seems to be a contradiction: I yet I don’t.

    Interestingly, what I hear more often is “I don’t feel him/her anymore”. The “feel” means LOVE. Once upon a time, I was in and yes I am no longer in , I feel my spouse no more. This has got me thinking what this thing called is, where does it begin and end? Is it a feeling that wears out? Can you put it on and off?

    The views of those who have some thoughts to share on this subject vary from one person to another. Take Joyce and Mark who were married for two years. They were giving up on their marriage, because they did not “feel” one another anymore. Like Joyce and Mark, many couples after two years of marriage have issues and often wonder, “Is this “the one” I married?

    The cycle of marriage indicates that relationships go through dream, drama, discovery and depth. Love is one of life’s greatest quests, everyone wants to find . It is said that makes the world go round.

    Psychologists define it as a desire for emotional union with another person. Love means so many different things to different people.

    Some say makes the world go round, others say that is blind. Aristotle said “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” I like what Scott Peck, author of the book “The Road Less Travelled”, says about : “One result of the mysterious nature of is that no one has ever arrived at a satisfactory definition of . In his view, “ is too large, too deep ever to be truly understood or measured or limited within the framework of words”.

    Ancient Greeks too found complex and came up with four different terms to describe LOVE; eros, storge, agape and philia to symbolize four types of . The first kind of was eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, and it represented the idea of sexual passion and desire. But the Greeks didn’t always think of it as something positive, as we tend to do today. In fact, eros was viewed as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational form of that could take hold of you and possess you.

    Eros involved a loss of control that frightened the Greeks. Which is odd, because losing control is precisely what many people now seek in a relationship. Don’t we all hope to fall “madly” in ? When I think madly in I am reminded of Romeo and Juliet, remember the script?

    According to scripture, is patient, is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. I like the conclusion best, that never fails.

    True should never fail. It is friendship that has caught fire, a great union of both of intersession meeting at levels of emotions, intellect and physical, sharing, caring and forgiving. It is about a level of loyalty through good and bad times.

    It is not just about good times. It is about sharing whatever comes on the table, be it good and bad. It settles for less than perfection and recognizes that humans have both strengths and weaknesses and that conquers all. Regardless of your situation, if there is , you will conquer all.